i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
