So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
