What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
