apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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