the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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