I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
