I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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