I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
