I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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