these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
