I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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