why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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