she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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