Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
