I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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