you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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