I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
