She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
