I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
