just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I just put wine in my tea
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize