some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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