this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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