I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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