We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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