i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
