Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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