Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize