this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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