i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
