what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
