hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
