wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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