Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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