Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
