sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it glows. i had to have it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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