rhymes with "ouble enetration"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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