i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
