Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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