thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
