If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
