...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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