yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
