i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
