She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
