He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
