based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
