Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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