i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
