How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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