Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
