Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm just crazy horny about you
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
