I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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