I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
