I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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