We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
