That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize