So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
