I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
